Trailblazer!

Originally published on Decemebr 13, 2017

​“I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Isaiah 45:3 (NIV)

When I was younger, people would ask me what I wanted to do when I grow up and for a period of time I would always respond, "I want to be a teacher." However; once I started high school that idea quickly changed as I realized I had little to no passion to be in school so teaching seemed to be unrealistic. ​

Don’t get me wrong, I understood from a young age that education was important and I knew it would be a way out for me one day. I also understood that if I was smart, I should use that as I know a lot of people around the world may not have had the same opportunity. So, I stayed and to be honest I did very well. I was honor roll up until graduation. I received a plethora of academic awards and certifications, I also miraculously was top 10% of my graduating class of 2011.

So, being in school wasn’t all bad and it really showed me that I can literally do whatever I put my mind to. But there was an overwhelming unspoken pressure that came with being the “smart” child. Unlike my brothers who were extremely smart (especially in the STEM fields), I had a choice to make. A choice that would put me in a category of “generational circumstances” or in a category of “generational success”.

This choice was not hard, as I saw my brothers drop out of high school and I heard the story countless times of when my mom and dad didn’t complete high school. Matter of fact, I was always reminded that I have gone further than most my family just by staying in High School. So, the pressure was on.

I went through High School and although I was considered a hard-working smart student I struggled deeply inside with a lot of issues that should have knocked me off my course, but glory be to God for his grace.

Some of you know my story, while others can only assume that being smart means easy access to education. Well, for me I have always had to work twice as hard as everyone else to get the grades I thought I deserved. It was frustrating, because while most kids my age were “living life” I was studying, reading, writing, and trying my hardest not to drown in it all. Not only did I struggle with learning the material, I struggled with social pressures, bullying, and family relations. ​ I tried taking my life multiple times in multiple ways, but to no avail.

Because God kept me.

Praise God I am still here. So, can you imagine the weight of your entire family lying on your shoulders and yet the only thing you want is to be free? That’s where I was.

But even with all life was throwing at me I knew I had to keep going. Something inside me wanted to keep fighting. I had to finish school and I am so thankful that I did, with the help of the Lord. Honestly, it was the grace of God that kept me. There is no way a girl who was suicidal, battling depression, and being bullied, should have not only graduated high-school, but graduated as top 10%. We are more than conquerors through Christ who loves me (Romans 8: 37) All the glory goes to God.

So, you may be asking yourself, “why the long story?” Well, honestly, I am writing a message to the trailblazers who must go ahead of their families to clear the path for them and/or for the generations after them.

Whatever that path may be in your life… And you may be wondering, “why would I want to go ahead of a family who may have treated me wrong, or a family that doesn’t even want me?” That’s a good question.

Sometimes, we have been called to tasks that seem too big to carry, but you must trust that God hasn’t chosen wrong. Your obedience to running ahead is not just for you, so don’t try to hold on to something for yourself when it can open doors for those who are connected to you as well.

Trust me. They will have a part to play, but your role is essential for your life and the lives of many. Run your race.

I also wrote my testimony above to encourage those who may feel as if the world is against them. Even if it was true that “everyone” was against you remember that God is for you and that he will go with you (Deuteronomy 31:6).

The good news is God is already victorious in your situation and he won’t send you into battle unprepared or unprotected.

I would not be where I am without the grace of God. The same goes for you; you would not be where you are without the grace of God. So, hold on. God has not forgotten about you.

This journey may not look pretty, it may not feel great, and you will stand out because you have been separated since the moment you were created (Jeremiah 1:5), but know that is all for a purpose.

God says “11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity...” (Jeremiah 29:11 – 14 NKJV)

Quickly after I graduated High-School, I went to college (I know strange for someone who doesn’t like school). I honestly felt that going to college would give me a way out of poverty. I struggled a lot in college and to make a long story short, I wanted to drop out. But it was my last semester and I had like two weeks left before graduation. Thankfully, my mom really supported and encouraged me in a way that helped me push to the end.

I am so blessed for her encouragement because I could see in that moment that completing college was bigger than myself; God had chosen me to trail blaze as a first-generation college graduate.

So, in 2015 I graduated with my bachelors from Armstrong State University. It was hard. I had never received the grades that I did while I was in high school . The disappointing part was I worked so hard. I looked at all the other students with jealousy because how did they balance partying and everything that they were doing with school while I was studying late nights, not partying much (not saying I didn’t party but it wasn’t often) and seeking help in every place I could think of but still struggling tremendously? My family didn’t understand what went wrong and I couldn’t explain why I struggled so much either, but at the end of it all, 4 ½ years later, I graduated from college. It gets better though….

I am now in graduate school, pursuing my Masters! OMG. So, of course the background to this story is funny… Keep in my mind I don’t really like school. BUT GOD! So, I was home for 6 months’ post-graduation dwelling in my own pity and first came the opportunity to move to Minnesota and teach, then came the opportunity to go back to school to pursue my Masters. After prayer and thinking more wisely (and seeking wise counsel), I chose to return for my Master’s. Fast-forward to 1 year later, I have completed the first half of my Master’s program.

When I tell you that you should step out on faith and trust God, I am saying that as someone who is so thrilled to be a part of his plan for my life. My first year of grad-school went amazing. I have learned so much in my classes and I like my program a lot. I wasn’t sure at first why God would press on my heart to return to school again, but now I am starting to see this beautiful process as a path that I am trailblazing. No one in my immediate household has ever gone this far. God chose me to set the standard. Wooh. I am happy that I am in a program that I like, taking classes that intrigue me and that God saw fit to not only help me make all As within this year, but he has also provided me early graduation status. So, I will graduate this December with a Masters of Arts in Professional Communications and Leadership.

It’s crazy to think that growing up I thought I knew the direction my life would go, but praise be to God who has strategically orchestrated our lives into HIS plan and HIS will for our lives. A God who knitted us together to accomplish such amazing things even though we don’t deserve it (Jeremiah 1:5). I could have never achieved all that I have without faith in God. He has been a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path (Psalms 119:105). I promise he is the same for you if you trust him. Don’t be discouraged if no one in your house sees what’s on the inside of you, don’t be dismayed if all your friends think you are crazy, and don’t back down when it gets uncomfortable because there is a promise outside of your safety net. So, dear trailblazer if you are reading this then you are on your way. You have lived another day to clear the path and while it may not make sense right now, it will all come together like puzzle pieces and you will be able to see the big picture, in due time.

Don’t overlook the process of bringing these pieces together and although some things may appear small stay reminded that they are essential to creating a masterpiece. Have faith in God, and trust that HE will direct your paths and if somehow you fall off or go the wrong way he will put you back on the right track (Psalms 37: 23- 24). He cares for you and he cares for the lives you will impact in your obedience. Be patient and wait on the Lord. All your suffering is not in vain.

Sincerely, T'keyah