Education is Key??? Maybe

Originally posted on December 12 2017

I have always been what others considered "a good student" and I have always done pretty well in my classwork. But, something strange happened when I started college. I instantly went from one out of 10 top African- American students with the highest GPAs in our graduating high school class to a college student struggling in her Quantitative Skills & Reasoning class. My world was shaken and quickly spiraling downward as I pushed through my first year of college. Nothing made sense and it seemed the harder I tried the more I began to sink under pressure.

Maybe I should backtrack a little.

I graduated from Coffee High School in Douglas, Ga on May 23, 2011 with a 3.2 GPA (Not exactly valedictorian , but that was good for someone with my background). Shortly afterward, I started college during the summer term at Armstrong State University. There was maybe two weeks between graduating high school and starting college and I somehow thought I was prepared. Boy, was I wrong. That summer, as I have stated above, I struggled in this math class called Quantitative Skills & Reasoning. My mind was completely unaware of how different courses were in college in comparison to high school, but I was told that the key to success is through education. That if I received a college education, I would be okay in life.... that was wrong too.

Something I soon realized while attending Armstrong is that a college education doesn't necessarily guarantee your level of success. My years in college became harder as I spent a lot of time isolated from everyone so I could focus (I didn't have the normal party "all the time" experience most students look for). I felt more lost than I ever had in my life. I constantly changed my major and always had to make time for tutors, group studies, and even one-on-one time with professors.

These simple tasks became harder as I drowned in school work and eventually began to have jobs. Yea, I know having a job is crazy when you're struggling in school, but I didn't have much financial support and being a first generation graduate made it difficult for family to understand the level of need I had while in college, especially being over two hours away from my hometown. I constantly found myself worrying about food, clothes, and my phone bill so I did what I thought was needed and got a job. Well of course, this did not really help my grades, but it helped me connect with some really awesome people I wouldn't have otherwise connected to. The problem then became that the job I was working didn't pay. Instead it covered 75% of my housing and 10 meal plans ( I was a resident assistant). So, I slowly transitioned to having two jobs that turned to three, then two again, and then I went down to one.

My life was very inconsistent and I couldn't handle the pressure of maintaining multiple jobs, being a full time student and trying to save my grades. Something had to go. Even with my poor grades, I still valued education. I mean I always believed that it was the key to everything, so I dropped my jobs and minimized my hours to only one consistent job. It wasn't much but it was helpful.

Finally, my senior year came and I got a notice that I needed to submit my application for graduation a semester ahead of time for processing and that's when I realized (after talking to my advisor about the application) that changing majors so much came back to bite me in the butt. My advisor explained to me I had a few classes left to take and I would be ready to graduate but after telling her how terrible I was doing in my current classes we came to realize if I wanted to graduate by December 2015 that I would have to take 18 credit hours. Now that may seem normal to a lot of students, but I have never been over 16 and remember I was trying to graduate so taking 18 didn't seem like a great idea. I really wanted to graduate before my financial aid started dwindling so I eventually agreed and went on to my final semester as a college student.

My last semester in college tore me apart in so many ways. I wanted to drop my classes and go home. I remember calling my mom and crying about being so tired. I felt light headed and dizzy quite often and I thought my body had weakened from the lack of sleep and lack of eating. It became so bad that I would wake up feeling as if weight was shedding off of me in my sleep. After talking to my roommate about how I was feeling, she grew really concerned and suggested I see the campus counselor, so I did. After talking to the counselor ,I felt more certain that I could press on through the semester but I had to make sure I was healthy first. So, I decided to go to the campus health center a few weeks before graduation to get an annual check up and surely what I thought was true. I had lost a lot of weight. I know people kept telling me I looked smaller and I even felt smaller but I tried to block it out. Sitting there with the nurse made me feel defeated again even though I was only a couple weeks away from graduating.

I called my mom again and told her about my extreme weight loss and how I felt I couldn't do it anymore. I was emotionally, mentally, and physically tired, but my mom comforted me and told me she was proud of me no matter what happened next. Hearing from her gave me my last push I needed to graduate.

Yes, I did it! December 12, 2015, was the day I crossed the stage at Armstrong State University. One of the biggest dreams of my life. With the help of God, loved ones, professors, and classmates I made it to my destination and fulfilled my dream. Now, the whole success after graduation hasn't necessarily been true in my case but that's another story in its own. What I have learned from going to college is that I could achieve any dream I have if I work hard enough. Also, it's not so much about what you know ,but who you know and how you treat others along your journey to fulfilling your dreams. I hope my story encourages someone to chase their dreams even if the outcome is not exactly what you expect. I may not be exactly where I want after finishing college but fulfilling that dream of graduating has opened a door for my family. It has given them hope.

Being a first generation college graduate has made a great difference in my life and has inspired me to not stop there. I have more dreams to accomplish and so do you!

Sincerely, T'keyah